The best laid plans

Right here, there is meant to be a picture of my lovely new Fable Gilmore vest. Supposed to be. But isn't. After really concentrating (well, as much concentrating as you can on knit one purl one rib and miles of stockingette) and not making any obvious mistakes and even getting the confusing decreases right after writing them out (!) and frogging the armhole ribbing twice so it fitted nicely (with not too much swearing, and all onthe one night), and 15 rows of 270 stitches of k1p1 rib blah blah blah, it has problems.
I spent the weekend patiently, neatly and against all my instincts slowly seaming & blocking & making up as required. It looked great. Really great. THen I put it on. The band at the back of the neck sticks out at right angles, and somehow the front makes my boobs look weird. It kind of sits nicely on the neck, then falls open to its widest point right on the old boobies, then back in nicely to a lovely low V. I am sure this is my fault, and I am almost sure that it is a bit big. Maybe I am no longer a medium.
I know I should take the band off and have another play with it, but I can't face it. I am going to do something sneaky but tidy at the back instead. If that doesn't work, then maybe I will take the band off. I don't know what to do about the front - I am hoping that another wash & block & a bit of a press with the bands on (it was blocked without bands initially) will make it look better. Other than that, I have a really cool pea brooch with green pea beads in a silver shell - it might serve a useful purpose here!
I have been desperately trying to convince myself that I still love it, but it is sitting sadly in the corner of the couch, and occasionally receives nasty looks.
I had an absolutely mad day, and am going to go and have a bath & a glass of wine. And maybe pistachios. And a book.
Then maybe I will play with the band.
Then maybe I will try it on with all my good clothes & see if I can make it work.
Then maybe a photo. Maybe.